はじめまして、
アメリカ人です。ここに話すのは始めてです。将来に日本に住んでいますけど、今にアメリカにいます。アメリカに彼女を探さないの理由は、必ずしもアメリカ人は日本に興味があまりないことです。それで、日本に興味ない人と付き合ったら、日本に行く時にその人を連れてきたくないです。だから今に待ってるんだけど、ちょっと迷ってます。アプリ以外、一番出会い方はなんたと思うの？日本人はアメリカ人特に好きですか？嫌いですか？
よろしく
この相談の回答期限は終了しました
人との接点を避けて生きている女子高生・星川雫は、誰にも見せずに執筆していた小説をクラスメイトの朝香夏織に見られてしまう。作品を嘲笑されると怯える雫だったが...
You should work somewhere and meet people, but remember Japanese people are not that expressive about their sexual orientation. It might be better to use a certain kind of dating apps to meet somebody if you don’t wanna waste your time. It’s not your nationality but your personality that people see when they decide whether they wanna date you or not. Still some Japanese people just think it’s cool to have an international relationship, so I think you have great deal of chances!! Good luck!!
Good to know! Its honestly been a big concern of mine that being american (especially on the taller end) would be an issue for some people. I do plan on holding a normal office job so there will be opportunities to meet people and make friends in that realm as well. Thanks for your advice!
Good to know! Its honestly been a big concern of mine that being american (especially on the taller end) would be an issue for some people. I do plan on holding a normal office job so there will be opportunities to meet people and make friends in that realm as well. Thanks for your advice!
You’re welcome!
I like someone who’s taller than me now. I’m sure there are more out there who are looking for someone like you in Japan. Hope you’ll meet great people here.
As you know, there is no legislation that protects same-sex couples in Japan for now. If you fortunately find a nice partner in the country, many difficulties will stand in your way, including your visa.
But one thing, love doesn’t depend on the place. I hope you have a great life wherever you want live.
I plan on living in japan entirely dependent of a partner. Im going to study abroad there next school year and intend to use that to find translation work as well. A visa shouldnt be an issue. Relationships are secondary to me
Independent*
投稿者さんは日本の人と付き合いたいのか、アメリカの人がタイプなのか、自身のタイプによると思う。日本で外国の人と付き合う可能性もあるし、日本に来てからの縁に任せるしかないと思う。
ありがとう！実は、タイプは日本人だと思うけど、付き合ったことないから、あまり分かんない。でも、分かることはアメリカ人の性格があまり好きじゃない。笑
I’ve worked and talked with people from various countries, but honestly Americans were the most difficult to be with and maybe because of the reason you are thinking about. Of course not all of them. Many of the foreigners I met really liked personalities of Japanese people and they said they didn’t wanna go back to their countries. Japanese people are considerate, modest and diligent in my opinion. Though it must be hard to see what they really think because they usually speak like beeping around the bush, not straight to the point. We are doing it just not to hurt feelings of others. It seems like you’ve studied Japanese and it’s culture a lot, so you may already know what I mentioned here, but just in case.
beating* around the bush
Thank you for the advice. I was aware of these things, but to hear someone confirm it is very reassuring and helpful. I hope I can be better than other americans, just so I dont make people uncomfortable. Thank you very much for your help, I’m grateful.
シエラさんから見た日本人の印象が知りたいです。
アメリカ人の性格が好きではないと他の方へコメントされていますが、アメリカ人はどんな性格ですか？どんな方が多いですか？
いい質問です。私の印象がダメだったら、言われるといいんですけど。アメリカ人の性格から始める。私にとってアメリカ人の性格が色んなあるんだけど、アメリカ人が良く積極的です。これはどこでもです。政治や意見にすごく積極的です。必ずしもアメリカ人のみんなが積極的ではかぎらないんですけどね。それで、これは悪いことじゃないです。私の嫌いだけです。だから、日本人のイメージは、あまり積極的じゃないです。積極的な人が絶対にあるんだけど、アメリカ人として日本人より積極的です、こんなところに。私は積極的な人と積極的じゃない人の両方が好きなんだけど、真面目なことにアメリカ人は早く酷くなるみたいです。問題は文化の問題だと思いますけど、どちらでもいいです。私に「アメリカより日本の方がいい文化だ」と言われると思ったら、心配しないでください。だから、積極的な日本人がありますけど、日本よりアメリカの方にある、私にとって。私は悪いことと言ったら、言われてください。それに、母語が英語だから間違たら許してください。私は習いたいです。
国民性とかあまり考え過ぎないで、気の合う人を探せば良いのではないでしょうか？
こちらは10年以上日本に暮しているアメリカ人です。(10年以上いても日本語は流暢に話せませんけど。)自分の経験からでいうと、「アメリカ人が好き」という日本人はたまにいますけど、そういう人は基本的にシエラさんみたいに「アメリカ人は積極的で自分の意見をハッカリ言う」というイメージを持っていて、アメリカ人の相手からそういう積極性を求めます。リアルでは割と人見知りな私はそういうアメリカ人像を求められても疲れます。また、「私」のことに興味がなくて、国籍や人種しか見てないな、と感じるとやっぱり寂しくなってしまいます。「外国人が好き」という人より、一人の人間である私のことを好きになってくれる人と付き合いたいですね。「日本人だからこうだ」と周りの人を決めつけないように気をつけたいとも思います。
日本に長く暮して、日本で将来のパートナーを見つけたいと思っていれば、言葉の壁が一番のハードルなので、まずは日本語の勉強を頑張りましょう。(私ももっと頑張りたいと思います。)
(Saying the same kinds of things again in English)
I think maybe it would be better to just focus on finding someone who suits you, rather than getting too caught up in nationality.
I’m an American who’s been living in Japan for more than ten years, although I’m still not exactly fluent in Japanese. I sometimes meet people who say they especially like Americans, but those kinds of people like Americans precisely because they expect Americans to be kind of assertive and opinionated, so if you date someone like that, they might expect that from you too. Personally, I’m pretty shy in real life, so it’s hard for me to live up to the American stereotype. Plus, of course it doesn’t make me very happy if I feel that someone is only looking at my nationality and not me as a person. So I want to find a partner who likes *me,* and I also want to be careful not to stereotype the people around me or expect them to act a certain way just because they’re Japanese.
If you want to live in Japan long term and find a partner in Japan, I think the language barrier is the biggest issue, so I’d recommend focusing on learning Japanese first. (It can be much harder to become fluent than people expect!)
Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not talking about dating Japanese people because of “wow Japan!” In fact, I’m strictly opposed to that. I’m simply talking about the types of things that you often see when it comes to Japanese culture. I used to really like Japanese people for the reason you’re mentioning, back when I was in high school, but I fell out of that pretty quickly because i realized how cringey I was. As I stated in the above response, I’m not looking for Japanese people because they’re Japanese, but because their culture lends them to have certain personality types, similarly to how American culture lends us to have certain personality types. I’ve just found that my personality meshes best with that of the expectations within Japanese culture. I don’t intend to stereotype people maliciously, just to make generalizations for the sake of conveying what I mean. If you take issue with me making that generalization, that’s fine, but please don’t misunderstand my true intentions and beliefs.
Also when I said I expect to live in Japan, I meant it, i’ve actually studied Japanese formally for years but have never been able to go to an environment where I was able to truly thrive with it, so it can sound broken or unnatural. Everything i’ve written here is handwritten. This isn’t about “finding a partner in Japan” as I stated in the original post up top, it’s about finding love while i’m in Japan, those are two separate things.
also something i’ve said for a while that i forgot to mention, i’d be 100% willing to date an American in Japan, assuming they wanted to stay there like me
英語で話したいですか？笑